Someone Wants a Piece of MySpace

Me: I just got the most spectacular MySpace message. Check it out:

Subject: oh jess

Body: how would you like a wonderful massage, with a happy ending that includes expert use of my exquisite collection of rare vaginal and anal toys. what a trip, and totally safe. i need nothing in return, but i am receptive to much, although i'm cool with staying fully clothed for the kink of it. nobody need ever know but you and me. don't you deserve it?

best,
phil

Jake: Your parish priest?

Me: Funny.

Jake: I love the banal sign-off after the lurid message.

Me: Me too. Well, that's my second favorite. I like that his sex toys are "rare" and "exquisite."

Jake: "I want to sodomize you with a turnip. Best, Phil."