Odds, Ends

So, yeah. I’m back. I have more mosquito bites than I thought was possible for one body, and random parts of me are burnt to a crisp. I thought TYM and I would never have a vacation more fun than our trip to Belize, but we did it in Puerto Rico! I’ll have photos up on Flickr this week, with accompanying stories. (TYM: Why are you taking a picture of the GPS? Me: I’m building a narrative!)

One thing I couldn’t get a pic of, sadly, was our Biobay tour. We took a nighttime kayak trip to Mosquito Bay (hence the bites), home to bazillions of dinoflagellates that give off bioluminescent light when it’s dark. Our guide told us to leave the cameras behind, as they’d get wet, and it’s a good thing I listened, because I tipped my kayak while getting out of it to swim.

Swimming in the bay at night was amazing. If you’ve seen Hellboy (or Hellboy 2), moving around in the water looked like Liz does when she gets all firestartery. It didn’t take long before TYM and I were making all sorts of pow-swoosh-bam superhero noises while we moved around. When we lifted an arm or head out of the water, the little organisms settled into crevices and hair like glitter. Before going, I thought all of the photos I’d seen were fake, but they’re totally not. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done, and if you ever go to Puerto Rico, you must do it.

I texted Azee this morning and asked her if she wanted to hang tomorrow night. She responded with, “I have someone picking up antlers at 7:30 but no plans after that.” My friends are weird. And awesome.

I had a dream last night that TYM and I were on vacation somewhere and Bill Maher was staying in our hotel. He totally hit on me at one point when TYM wasn’t around, and when I told him what had happened, he didn’t believe me, because “Bill Maher doesn’t like white ladies.” Except for Ann Coulter, of course.

Last night, I attended BUST Magazine’s 15-year anniversary bash with two tall ladies who make me feel like a midget. See?


It was fun—JD Samson from Le Tigre was the DJ, and there was dancing and some kickass goodie bags with graphic novels, coloring books, tools, CDs and free vibrators. Plus, vegan cupcakes from Babycakes and performances from the Lady Circus. Unfortunately, we had to leave before seeing my imaginary best friend Amy Sedaris because I was about to pass out from not sleeping two nights in a row. It’s probably for the best—if I met her, I think my latching onto her leg until she promised to hang out with me and get BFF necklaces would result in a restraining order.

Can you believe I still don’t know who won So You Think You Can Dance? Don’t spoil it for me—I’m watching it tonight.