Keep It In Your Pants

If you're wondering what holds a relationship together, it isn't honesty or communication or any of that nonsense. No, it's making fun of people together. Skeptical? Don't be. That shit is romantic, yo.

Anyway, The Young Man and I were looking for that blog by that guy who likes to out all of the closeted Republican politicians that overcompensate by publicly hating on the gays (AKA my hero) when we stumbled upon GodTube.* And I have to say, we were a little disappointed. We expected a full-fledged dose of the crazy, but what we got instead was kind of boring, as in the case of this British dude who hates women, and the sad, in the case of this woman who sang some song in her kitchen about how the devil lies that made me cringe, and not in a fun way. More in an "Oh my God I can't even believe Angela just said that to Jordan Catalano. Stop talking, Angela. Really. This hurts" kind of way.

Then we stumbled upon Robert Breaud, formerly one of the gays before Jesus saved him from a life of depravity. And he sings songs. And I'm going to share my favorite with you. It's called "Abstinence" (great for college campuses and abroad!). Please to enjoy.


















I had no idea that having sex meant I was going to get cancer and be rendered infertile. Well, it's too late for me, obviously, but that doesn't mean it's too late for you. So wait until marriage, ladies!

The Young Man preferred "Transformed by Jesus Christ," where he informs us that in God's eyes, being gay is a "real big no-no." Watch it here. It's actually kinda catchy.

*I have no problem with people of faith. I know a lot of people of faith who are just dandy. And they believe that being Christian means accepting everyone, and helping people and being active in their communities, and not one of them thinks that picking up a guitar and singing about how "it's not okay to be a homo" is how God would want them to express their faith and devotion. Just sayin'.