MySpace: Not Just for Stalking Exes Anymore

Every now and then, someone comes along and makes you look at the world differently. Some people call it love at first sight. Some people call it soul mates. Well, folks, I'm pleased to announce that it happened to me today. On MySpace.

From: Cum Swallower
Subject: hi how r u today?

holla

I was already feeling tingly as I clicked over to Cum Swallower's profile. Here's what I would like you to know about her:

• She would like to meet a woman who knows how to squirt


• She would like to attend and participate in an all-girl orgy


• She has an interest in "anything freaky" and "hardcore porn"


• She's interested in meeting someone with "some fat juicy ass pussy lips"

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go look into transportation to Gwynn Oak, Maryland, where the new special lady in my life resides. Cum Swallower is an interesting name for someone who is staunchly anti-dick, as she claims to be in her profile. I can't wait to solve that mystery, and all of her mysteries, really.