Happiness is Furry Beasts and a Malt Beverage

Having a diabetic cat, I'm not one of those people who can just fill up a bowl with cat food and dash off for a weekend. The Roommate has, on occasion, offered to give my little Mulder his twice-daily insulin shots, and in a pinch, I've taken her up on it. As a long-term strategy, though, it stresses her out and I'd rather not put her through it.

When Erin, who I found working in my former vet's office and who charged me next to nothing to take care of my cats, announced she'd be moving to California roughly 30 seconds after she told me, I was monumentally stressed out, especially because I had a trip coming up. The boarding places don't board cats with special needs. The cat-sitters suggested by friends didn't do shots. As a last resort, I turned to that place. That place where I live in fear that someday, I will fall madly in love, and then later find out that the object of my affection is one of those freaks who posts on Rants & Raves all day -- Craig's List.

It was on Craig's List that I found the awesome, hilarious, adorable, conscientious woman who now takes care of the aforementioned Mulder and his sidekick John Brown. We'll call her Amelie, just because. Last week, while I was in Portland, The Roommate and Amelie met for the first time. As The Roommate relayed to me, Amelie told her that she didn't think I actually had a roommate. Apparently, people lie about that because the general consensus is that people will be less likely to steal all your worldly belongings and walk around with your panties on their heads when there's a possibility someone could be coming home any minute. I had not considered this.

The Roommate also noticed that Amelie had brought a beverage with her so she'd have something to drink during the hour she spends with the cats daily in my absence. A 40-ounce bottle of Smirnoff Ice, to be exact. At one point, The Roommate almost knocked it over accidentally and apologized. Amelie said that she was just having "a little cocktail!"

After The Roommate relayed that story, we discussed whether or not Amelie's days consist of trekking from apartment to apartment to get down with OPP (Other People's Pets) and working her way through 40s of Smirnoff Ice until she gets drunk. Then we both got the same far away look in our eyes.

"That would be a pretty awesome life," The Roommate said. I had to agree.