At Least it Wasn't Ed Asner

The thing I hate most about my celebrity sex dreams is that none of them feature Johnny Depp or Matthew McConaughey. It's always someone that I'd never even considered sleeping with. Like Eminem. Not that I don't like Eminem, because I do, and he's cute in that wounded sort of way. I just don't think he'd be a particularly good time in bed or otherwise. Eminem doesn't exactly scream fun, you know?

I've also had my share of celebrity sex dreams featuring women, but sadly, none of them were Christina Aguilera or pre-Federline Britney Spears. I'm more likely to have a sex dream about like, Melissa Joan Hart and wake up shuddering and in desperate need of a shower. I'm sorry, but that wonky eye freaks me the fuck out.

Last night, though, I had a celebrity sex dream that is likely to stay with me for quite awhile, and not in a good way. In my dream, I spent the weekend at a friend's parents' house, and at that house, proceeded to have sex with my friend's mother. If that isn't horrifying enough, that friend's mother was Mary Tyler Moore, circa 1970.

What do you think Freud would have to say about that?