Two conversations

First, with Curly, regarding the saw-wielding subway attacker:

Me: [makes joke]

Curly: [makes joke]

Me: Are we heartless?

Curly: No. Being heartless would be seeing it go down and not doing anything. Making fun of it after the fact just makes us bitches.

Me: Thank god.

Second, with my new gynecologist, who is completely awesome:

Her: So what are you doing for birth control?

Me: Uh, abstinence?

Her: For how long?

Me: [tells her]

Her: What? Why?

Me: [shrugs]

Her: Stop it! Get out there and have some sex!

I could be wrong, but I think that when even your gynecologist is telling you that you need to get laid, the situation is pretty dire.