Chris Daughtry has also rocked them all

I'm not just lazy, I'm busy. I was home sick from work Friday and I'm trying to play catch up at work and I have SO MUCH I need to say about the "Idols Live Tour" that Mejack, Curly and I attended yesterday at Nassau Coliseum that I'm just going to have to neglect y'all a little bit. All I'll say about it here is that 1) Middle-aged moms are so hot for Chris Daughtry it's not even funny 2) Not only were we the only childless 30-somethings at the show, we were also the only people of any age group to drink in the parking lot beforehand and 3) If you are about to make fun of me in my comments for going to the "Idols Live Tour," then you can meet me out on the hill after class where I will so be kicking your ass while everyone watches. We'll be writing about it much more than necessary where we normally do that sort of thing.

Anyway, because I'm sworn to entertain you, I present to you one of John Moe's Pop Song correspondences on McSweeney's. They're all funny, but this one is my favorite, "Concerning Jon Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead Or Alive." Here's an excerpt:

So why are we looking for Bon Jovi? Why is he wanted, wanted dead or alive? A spree of face rocking. Estimates vary as to how many faces have been targeted—some say 800,000, some say 1.2 million—but it is accepted as a fact that he has rocked every single face he has seen. Every one of them. We're not even clear on a motive for this mass face rocking, although there are reports of Bon Jovi complaining of faces that "are so cold."