Things that baffled me last night

I watched Last Comic Standing. Technically, I should have been seeing The Omen with Linus and celebrating 06.06.06 in the proper fashion, but I'm still ill. Mom thinks it's an ear infection, because apparently, I'm five. Anyway, they had six billion contestants, so they only showed a select few of the bad and a select few of the good. And then they had suspenseful moments where they announced who had made it through to the next round. And it was… every single one of the select few of the good. Every time. Where's the suspense in that? Also, one of the comics has cerebral palsy and was voted the audience favorite. Which, sure, everyone wants to see the kid with the disability win, but he was absolutely hilarious. At one point he told the audience that they were all going to hell for laughing at him, and I laughed out loud. I'm totally rooting for him. Although, he did say something to the effect that no one with his illness had ever gotten far in the field of comedy, and um, what? Geri Jewell, anyone? Of Facts of Life and stand-up fame and apparently, a really extensive filmography?

Prior to Last Comic Standing, I stopped by the old Duane Reade for some Tylenol PM. When I got up to the checkout counter, I was surprised by two things; there was no line, and there were two open registers. I looked from one to the other and waited for someone to wave me over. Instead, they glared at each other. And then they got into a shouting match about who was going to check me out. From what I gathered, the female cashier believed the male cashier had not been pulling his weight, and had refused to take any more customers. The male cashier clearly thought this was bullshit and wasn't having it. This went on for at least three minutes, while I fantasized about fire and brimstone falling on them. Fucking Duane Reade. When Zach was here Saturday, I was showing him around the neighborhood and he asked where the infamous Duane Reade was. When I showed him, he said he almost wanted to buy something just for the experience.

On to the Tylenol PM, then. I'd never taken it before, so I popped my two tablets early so as not to put myself into a sleep so deep I'd be unable to wake up when my alarm went off in the morning. I feel asleep at 10:30, halfway through Law & Order: SVU, which was so good and I'm bummed that I don't know if they ever found the little girl from Honduras who had been sold to an American man as a sex slave by her parents. Here's the thing about the Tylenol PM. It was vanilla-flavored, which was nice, but I mean, was it necessary? Were there scads of insomniacs shaking their fists at the heavens and saying, "If only someone would make a sleep aid that tasted like candy. Until then, no sleep for me." Like, did the vanilla flavor actually boost sales? I mean, I'd probably shell out for Tylenol PM that tasted like Doritos, but all in all, I think it's pretty silly.