My therapist would institutionalize me

Disclaimer: I don't have any less junk in the trunk than usual. It's just that Julie is uber-pregnant and thinks everyone else looks like a twig.

Jacksonville, Florida. Saturday, 6ish. I walk out of the bathroom wearing this shirt and a denim miniskirt. We're getting ready to go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner.

Me: Does this look okay together?

Julie: [Wrinkling her nose at me] It looks okay. It just…

Me: Just what?

Julie: Well, it makes you look skinny. Like, really gross skinny.

Me: Really?

Julie: Yeah.

Me: Awesome!

Julie: Are you going to wear it?

Me: Hell yes I'm going to wear it!