Case closed

If you've been reading this here blog for any length of time, or if you had the pleasure of growing up with us, then you know, or at least suspect, that Julie, my best friend, is batshit crazy. Not in a way that suggests she's a danger to herself or others, but to put it mildly, she has her own lens through which she looks at the world.

Today, I called her when I left work, as I often do. We got on the subject of the three alligator attacks this past week in Florida. Being a resident of the state with an unborn child rapidly expanding in her womb, she's naturally a little nervous about this.

From the article:

Officials with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said there have been an increasing number of alligator attacks for several reasons, including warmer weather and humans encroaching on alligator territory.

Julie has a different theory:

Like we're supposed to believe this happened three times in one week after not happening for years. It's obviously [Ed note: The "obviously" is what killed me most] a serial killer who is killing women and feeding them to alligators to make it look like an attack.

I suggested Julie get on the phone with someone at the police department, because perhaps they hadn't considered that angle. She said she'd think about it.