On types

Me: Where's [Work Crush]?

Other Work Half: He's probably here. He's quiet.

Me: And adorable. Although I think part of the reason I find him so adorable is because he's quiet.

Other Work Half: You have wildly variant tastes. [Work Crush] and Dave Navarro…

Me: Well, there's a big difference between guys who I'd want as a boyfriend and guys I'd like to spend 15 minutes with in a bathroom stall.

Other Work Half then explodes into laughter. If I'm being completely honest here, I'd probably give Dave Navarro 20 minutes.