Name that article

Other Work Half: Can you think of a better title than "First Dates by Sign?"

Me: "How to Get Every Sign into Bed on a First Date."

Other Work half: Slut.

Me: That's me! How about "Foolproof First Date Ideas for Every Sign?"

Other Work Half: How about "Don't Go on That First Date Because Relationships Are Nothing but Pain and Suffering Interspersed with Occasional Moments of Sensual Pleasure and Intimacy?"

Me: You forgot "By Sign."

Other Work Half: It's the same for all 12.