Family ties

The thing about my family, the great thing, is that we laugh a lot. We're a bunch of comedians, or at least we think we are. Here are some things that we collectively cracked up about during my birthday/Easter weekend in Schenectady:

- Grandpa's assertion that you can't have bread with one meatball. Based on a song, which was Googled and explained to the entire family. Follow-up questions included, "But why can't you have bread with one meatball? What if you already ate one meatball, and the lone meatball is a second helping? Is it a carb thing?"

- Grandma's explaining that she doesn't recall getting pregnant with my uncle, which led to a series of, "Grandpa is a rapist" jokes.

- Cousin Josh, who is five years younger than Cousin Desiree and ten years younger then me, explaining that he believes he'll be first of the three of us to reproduce. He plans to do this, "sometime in the next 15 years."

- Family Guy quotes, specifically in reference to drunk babies. Napoleon Dynamite quotes are so last holiday.

- Mom getting irrationally angry about the Yankees' purposely walking whoever batted before the Twins' Rondell White, because he has like a .085 average and they knew he'd get an out. She said the Yankees were "mean" and "probably giving him a complex" and she's pretty sure "they lost the game because they were being so mean" and "how is he ever going to get better if everyone constantly reminds him that he sucks?"

- Grandma's really is only 4'6".