An open letter to whomever is in charge of lunch

Dear Whomever is in Charge of Lunch:

I don't mean to complain. You feed me during the day and see that I don't faint from hunger. You also give me a reason to stretch my legs halfway through the day. You're doing a bang-up job over all, and I appreciate it. I'd just like to make one small suggestion, if I may. Please work on making salads taste more like cheeseburgers. Thank you in advance.

Sincerely,
Jess