On Babies and Hot Bouncers

The cavefish is going to be a Godmother. Here's a good example of why I deserve such a huge responsibility.

Her: So what are you doing for your birthday?

Me: Going upstate. It's also Easter weekend. But the weekend before, I'm just going to go to Grassroots.

Her: Say hi to my boyfriend for me.

Me: Hot Bouncer is not your boyfriend. He's mine. Besides, you're carrying another man's baby.

Her: True. I guess you've got that one on me.

Me: You know what would be hilarious? If you came up to visit when you were really pregnant and we went there and you hit on him.

Her: Yeah, but I wouldn't be able to get as drunk as I did last time.

Me: You said "as drunk."

Her: The baby's a lightweight.

Me: Fucking baby can't hold its liquor.

Her: Fucking baby's gotta ruin everything.

Me: Am I allowed to say things like, "fucking baby can't hold its liquor?"

Her: I insist on it.

Me: Good to know. Hey, are you doing a natural childbirth?

Her: Are you out of your mind? I don't know who those demented natural childbirth people are, but I'm not one of them.