Excuses, excuses

I've given myself a lot of excuses for not going to the gym. Tired. Crampy. Don't want to run into the ex. Just ate. Too late. Just went two weeks ago.

Today, though, I really wanted to go. I swear. I woke up at six for no apparent reason, and the first thing I thought was, "Score! I can totally go to the gym and I won't have to go tonight!" But I didn't go. And the reason I didn't go is because I smelled, nay, reeked of lard. And I wasn't going to shower before and after the gym.

I can safely say I've never used that excuse before.