On hypochondria

Yesterday over IM:

The Roommate: Can I share some hypochondria with you?

Me: OMG, I was just going to ask you the same thing!

The Roommate: You first.

Me: I have oral cancer.

I went on to explain that Sunday night, I'd discovered a small, black raised bump on the inside of my left cheek. As some of you may know, the Internet is probably the worst thing to ever happen to hypochondriacs. I spent hours poring over health encyclopedias and dentistry sites. After I read the following passage, I nearly had a panic attack.

One of the most deadly forms of oral cancer is Malignant melanoma. Thankfully, it is very rare in the oral cavity. It begins as small black spot, generally smaller than a millimeter, and develops irregular borders as it grows larger. Melanoma can happen on any tissue in the mouth, particularly inside the lips, cheeks, undersurface of the tongue and on the hard palate. It is likely to be tan, dark brown or black, sometimes mixed with red or gray. Melanoma occurring anywhere other than the mouth is generally considered to be fairly treatable. Unfortunately, due to the anatomy of the head and neck, oral melanoma is most often fatal.

So basically, I spent most of yesterday afternoon convinced I was going to die any minute. I made a doctor's appointment for Thursday and promised God that if I didn't have cancer, I would never, ever smoke again. Today, I woke up and it was gone. I think I may have knocked it down with my PMS popcorn last night (popcorn with butter, brown sugar and sea salt – sure to satisfy every potential PMS craving). I'm still never smoking again, and really, the only thing that bothers me now is – did I swallow it? Because, um, ew.