A conversation with Mom

Background info: In high school, I had a boyfriend who we'll call The Guitarist. The Guitarist and his band had a groupie who the girlfriends used to openly fantasize about killing. I'm basing a character in Novel #2 on her, which I told my mom all about today on the phone.

Me: She was so annoying. I'd always be like, "Yes Christy, we know you don't wear underwear. You mention it daily. Now please get off my boyfriend's lap."

Mom: Do you ever hear from [The Guitarist]?

Me: Nope. He went crazy and moved to Florida.

Mom: That's some track record you've got.

Me: What do you mean?

Mom: You drove two guys crazy and turned one into a priest.

Me: I'm not sure I'm responsible for those things.

Mom: You probably even turned [Father Mike] into a pedophile.

Me: And you wonder why I'm still single.