Like sands through the hourglass…

I watched a little Days of Our Lives last week, for the first time in over a decade. I was quite shocked to discover that no one has left the show. In fact, people have even come back, like Frankie, who I loved way back in the Days of His Mullet. I shared my findings with The Roommate via IM, which sparked a good two hours of poring over timelines and pictures and reminiscing. Here's a sampling of that conversation:

Me: Carrie is on a date with Lucas right now, and Sammie is on one with Austin (Who still can't act). How did that happen?

The Roommate: OMG, Carrie? And Sammie? What is she like, 50 now?

Me: Marlena's still crying all over the place, and Hope is skeletal.

The Roommate: These people live their whole lives on TV. It's so creepy.

Me: Alice Horton is still on. She looks like the crypt keeper.

The Roommate: You are shitting me that she's still on.

The Roommate: I want Patch and Kayla pictures!

Me: I LOVED Patch.

The Roommate: I met him. Well, all of them. Shane, Kayla, Patch, the kooky blonde whose name I don't remember…

Me: Calliope!

The Roommate: Yes!

Me: Remember when she married Eugene and wore that dress that lit up?

The Roommate: Yes!

Me: I met a couple of the Another World guys. Jake and Dean. They were doing a mall tour, and the security guard let me cut everyone in line because I was on break from Arby's. It was awesome.

The Roommate: Whoa, Abe Carver. The only black dude on the entire fucking show. Oh wait, there's another black actor on now, too.

Me: Probably needed someone for Lexie to cheat on Abe with.

Me: Whoa, Hope. More cheesecake, less botox.

The Roommate: John Black looks stretched like a canvas.

Me: He looks like a creepy molester. Man, Roman was an ugly, ugly man.

The Roommate: Hope looks like she's going to unhinge her jaw and eat your life juices.

Me: Who is singing in this picture?

The Roommate: Marilyn McCoo, motherfucker!

The Roommate: OMG, Kimberly! I totally forgot about her. She always seemed like, a stewardess they just dressed up.

Me: Oooh, Marlena possessed by Satan!

The Roommate: These bridal photos have totally enslaved me.

The Roommate: Roman sure had some man tits in the 70s.

You too, can browse former and current (mostly the same) cast members here, if you have like, an entire afternoon to kill or something.