Heredity Schmeredity

Mom doesn't answer her phone. Ever. I'm talking about the landline, the cell is always off and even if it were on, she doesn't understand how to answer it.

Mom screens every call that comes in. When she hears a familiar voice on the machine, she picks up. This is the conversation Mom and I have every single time I call her.

Me: Hi Mom, it's me. Are you there?

Mom: Yeeeeeeeesssssss.

Me: Hi.

Mom: I knew it was you.

Me: Then why didn't you answer?

Mom: I had to make sure.

Every. Single. Time. People. I've asked Mom on several occasions why she doesn't just answer the phone. Her answer? Every time? "Because every time I answer the phone it's someone who wants my money."

I am not shitting you when I say Mom has not answered her phone in at least a decade. Seriously, is there any hope of my entering old age as a sane person? I'm doubtful.