Today's random award goes to...

Julie, for sending me this text message:

Have you seen Breaking Bonaduce or My Fair Brady? Best shows on TV. Do you know people get their anuses bleached? What band was Yngwie Malmsteen from?

Then I called her to answer her questions. Yes, I have seen Breaking Bonaduce, and Danny boy is pretty much my high school boyfriend Satan, except, you know, Satan was 16. I have also seen My Fair Brady and it is good stuff. I did not know about the anus bleaching, and Yngwie was one of those solo guitar guys, like Steve Vai.

"Great, thanks," she said. "I gotta go, though. [Hot Irish Boyfriend] and I are on our way to a tattoo convention."

Neither Julie nor the Hot Irish Boyfriend are inked.