An open letter to Guys With Girlfriends Who Are Trolling Online Dating Sites

Dear Guys With Girlfriends Who Are Trolling Online Dating Sites:

If I have to hear one more friend freaking out because Match or Nerve or Adult Friend Finder keeps showing up in the Internet history on the computer they share with you in the apartment you cohabitate in, I am going to blow something up. It may be you.

I just got off the phone with a hysterical friend who has just discovered her live-in boyfriend is making plans to meet up with some girl he met online for all sorts of sex. They have been together for over five years and have been discussing marriage. As you can probably tell, this is probably going to put a significant damper on those plans.

You are not being slick. You are not fooling anyone. Your girlfriends are going to find out. And then probably execute a sting operation, whereby they create a profile and email you and trap you and expose you for the lying, cheating jackasses you are. That is, provided you were actually smart enough to log off before leaving the computer. Should she find you still logged in, she will probably read every message you've ever sent to another girl and may possibly kill you.

This is a disturbing trend that I don't care for, Guys With Girlfriends Who Are Trolling Online Dating Sites. If I may note, in 100% of the cases I've witnessed thus far, y'all are never, ever going to do any better than the beautiful, smart and hilarious girlfriends you have at home.

So in summary, Guys With Girlfriends Who Are Trolling Online Dating Sites, knock that shit off.

Love,
Jess

P.S. Ever hear of karma? Think about it.