A conversation with Captain Jersey

We're driving through Jersey for a long time, and he still hasn't told me where we're going.

Me: You live in Jersey City, right?

CJ: Yes.

Me: Did we pass it?

CJ: Oh yeah, a long time ago.

Me: So, uh, where are we going exactly?

CJ: Menlo Park.

Me: Is that far?

CJ: Not too far.

Pause.

Me: Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?

Turns out that instead of chopping me into little pieces, he was taking me out for a cheesetastic mall trip (literally and figuratively). Dinner at The Cheesecake Factory followed by The 40 Year-Old Virgin. If you haven't seen that movie yet, then I suggest you go. Immediately.