My new favorite thing in the entire world

If you have the rather unfortunate honor of being on my IM buddy list, you probably know that I adore Fametracker in an almost unhealthy way. Well, they've given me a new reason to turn that adoration into undying love: Celebrity vs. Thing.

If works like this: they pit a celebrity against an everyday object, discuss the merits of both, and then declare a winner. It all started with Catherine Zeta-Jones vs. Bagels. I was immediately hooked.

Today, we have Angelina Jolie vs. Bottled Water. And it's genius! Here's a line:

Arguing for the supreme sexiness of Eva Longoria in the lifetime of Angelina Jolie is like being a vociferous creationist on the day that a particularly sharp monkey uses an abacus, writes a sonnet, and finally masters the nuances of written Latin.

Beautiful, right? Wait! Here's another:

You want to leave little Maddox an orphan, just because you have unspecified but nagging doubts about fluoridation?

So read it, because it nearly made me pee. And if you like it, you'll definitely want to read Orlando Bloom vs. Roombas.