The morning after

Here's the thing. We used to go up to Julie's family's lake house and have parties. Sometimes, we brought a video camera. We'd sing really loudly for the camera. We'd dance for the camera. We'd openly talk about oral sex for the camera. If someone yelled, "Jess! Show us your tits!" I usually complied. The difference between Mrs. Federline and I? I would never allow these videos to be shows on national television.

There's a certain mortification that should, theoretically, come with seeing yourself act like an idiot on tape. On those rare occasions when Julie and I pop in one of the camp tapes and watch, we blush, even though it's just the two of us. But you know the Federlines sat in front of their TV last night and watched Britney & Kevin: Chaotic, and Britney turned to Kevin and said, "OH MAH GAWD, Y'ALL, THIS IS SO HILARIOUS!" And hilarious it was. I want all six episodes to air, like, right now.

This is what they call "ambiance:"



This is what we ate for dinner. Clockwise from the left: Pigs in a blanket, prepared by L'il Suzy, pork chops marinated in ketchup and Coke prepared by The Boyfriend of The Roommate, mac n' cheese with canned tomatoes courtesy of yours truly and Dorito salad by Friend of The Roommate, made with ground beef, Catalina dressing and, of course, Doritos. There were fish sticks, too, but they were served with second helpings.



This nefarious dessert concoction was assembled by one Curly McDimple, who polished off a couple of 40s of Coors Light during the evening. Twinkies, Yoo-Hoo chocolate sauce, chocolate chips, a Ring Ding and Sour Apple Bubble Tape… I ate two, y'all.



This guy, who wrote a review much more thorough than mine and posted a pic of the cavefish modeling the wares, came too, bearing assorted snacks (including Cheetos) and wine. We're doing it all again for the grand finale, because if we do it every week, I'll get fat, and also unlike Mrs. Federline, I am not scarfing Cheetos for two.