Friday night text message fun

12:59am
Petey: I'm going to your bar with a bunch of available men.

1:02am
Me: Have fun. I'm watching porn online* and getting ready for bed.

1:06am
Petey: My friends loved that response.

1:12am
Me: I aim to please. Give my love to Hot Bouncer.

1:16am
Me: Also, why is this the first I'm hearing of a herd of single friends? Dude, I pimped YOU out on MY birthday!

1:18am
Petey: Improv people.

1:36am
Me: Oh, okay. That's all right then. Those comic types are nothing but trouble.

2:48am
Petey: Ok, but you're missing me sing karaoke.

* I actually was watching porn online. An astounding number of people have been arriving here via a search for "subway girl." I was curious so I did my own search. Turns out there's a girl who did naughty things in a Subway sandwich shop. And then later on a dining room table. So I watched it all. Kind of boring, if you ask me.