Blood, gore and wax: I can't think of a better way to spend a Wednesday night

Because Linus turned another year older this week, I decided to indulge his disturbing Paris Hilton fixation and go see House of Wax last night. And I say that like I wouldn't have gone to see it anyway, which makes me laugh at myself.

Anyway, here's my advice to you if you haven't yet seen House of Wax and want to. Go in with low expectations, and you'll have a great time. Is it a good movie? Nope. Is it a hell of a lot of fun? You betcha. It even made me almost like Paris Hilton for four reasons: 1) She clearly has a sense of humor about herself 2) For the first half of the film, her character is the only character with any common sense 3) She has no qualms about running around sans shoes and showing off her freakishly large feet (size 11.5!) and 4) (Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert!) Her death scene? Totally awesome.

The film was really, really gory. Eyes were covered and I yelped, "Ew! Ew! Ew!" several times while squirming in my seat. I like Elisha Cuthbert better with blond hair, but Chad Michael Murray had his shirt off a whole lot, which made up for it. The special effects were really cool, especially at the end.

If you're one of those people who mistakenly believes horror movies should be good, you will not like this film. You will hate this film, in fact. If you are profoundly disturbed by horror film characters who think it's a good idea to split up and go off on their own in creepy situations, you will hate this film. If you saw the Paris Hilton sex video, and I did, on a palm pilot at a party in South Africa, this film will make you laugh, at least a little bit. Overall, I dug it. So did Linus.