An open letter to God

Dear God:

I never believed that the simple act of prayer could get me what I wanted. I mean, I know my grandma tells me to pray for people and stuff, but I never really thought it worked. Until now.

About a year ago, I heard a rumor this might be happening. I didn't want to believe it at first, because I knew the disappointment would be too much to bear. Still, I prayed that it would happen. Every night before bed, I prayed. As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months and I never heard another word, I thought the situation was hopeless. Until now.

You, God, have finally made it happen, using the UPN television network as a tool of your divine intervention. The Spederline reality show. It's a dream come true. Thank you, God. I will never doubt your existence again.

Your humble servant,
Jess