A Saturday conversation with Mom

Mom: What are you doing tonight?

Me: I'm not sure. I was supposed to go out with the rape crisis girls, but it's really snowing and two of them live in Brooklyn. We might have to cancel.

Mom: Why don't you stay in and invite the Bond Trader over to watch movies?

Me: Because I met him online and he could be a psychopath. I don't even know his last name, Mom.

Mom: Well, it was just a suggestion.

Me: An insane suggestion. Do you want me to get hacked up and thrown in the East River?

Mom: Okay, okay. I guess that was a bad idea.