Premature ejaculation is my job

More on this later, but I just sent this email, in a professional capacity, and it cracked me up:

I just realized something that doesn't work timeline-wise. The one where she decides to dump No Touch starts with "Three dates and three premature ejaculations later" and there isn't really enough time for her to have had three more dates. Maybe we could change it to "Another date and another premature ejaculation later?"