This just in: It's really cold outside

Back in my News Channel 6 days, there was a job assigned to a fresh-faced reporter that was so gruesome and cruel that every time said reporter's mug showed up on the television, those of us back in the newsroom would mutter "poor bastard." That job? Standing outside all day on the first winter freeze to talk about the cold. And in upstate New York, that was pretty fucking cold.

It always went down the same. First, a check of your weather. Then, someone introduced the poor reporter, who repeated the spiel he'd given at noon and five before rolling a two-and-a-half-minute package wherein he talks to strangers on the street about just how cold it is. The warm people in the newsroom felt bad for him, the viewers at home felt bad for him and everyone wondered why this sadistic crime must be visited on someone who makes about one-tenth of an anchor's salary, even though all anchors do is sit behind a desk and read a teleprompter and throw fits in the newsroom, Liz Bishop.

Roger Clark at NY1, please keep yourself bundled up today. And Pat Kiernan, I love you. Still.