I’d gladly trade in my wet slippers for some good old-fashioned terror

I’ve started sleepwalking again.

I have three sleep disorders; sleepwalking, insomnia and nightmares. The insomnia is off and on, the nightmares are frequent, and the sleepwalking pops in to say hello once every few years. It usually lasts a week or two.

When I woke up early Tuesday morning to pee, I climbed out of bed and into my slippers, which were soaking wet. I was puzzled, but I really had to pee so I slipped them on and went into the bathroom. There were droplets on the shower curtain, which led me to my conclusion – I tried to take a shower in my slippers. Or rather, I gave my slippers a shower. Because my hair was not wet, my pajamas were not wet and my bed was not wet.

Mom said I did some funky sitting up and talking in my sleep thing while home for Thanksgiving, which is usually a precursor to the sleepwalking. Years ago, the former roommate frequently caught me in various stages of sleepwalking. Once I climbed into his empty bed and he found me sleeping there. Once he caught me fully dressed in the living room having a conversation with someone who was not there. And once, and this is the one that freaks me, he caught me opening the front door to the apartment.

Just as quickly as my sleepwalking starts, it stops. Suddenly and without any apparent cause. Luckily, I never have more than one sleep disorder at a time. I’m looking forward to the return of the nightmares. Those are my favorite.