Don't even try, Jane Pratt

I have a love/hate relationship with Jane Magazine. I have a subscription, and every month, when something in the current issue annoys me, I swear I will not renew. But I always do. Their first-person we rule we're so feminist yet we have anorexic models on every page and we worship celebrities even if they don't deserve it and make outrageous claims on our cover that are not reflected in the actual content bullshit drives me nuts, yet for some reason I can't get enough of it. This is a sample of me reading Jane:

Shut up, Jane Pratt. Really, just shut up.

Cute shoes!

You promised me Laura Flynn Boyle's FOOD DIARY. You gave me a picture of her NOT eating ice cream. Assholes.

If I don't have that skirt, like, right now, I will die.

Pam Anderson, why the hell did someone let you write a column?

I am so buying that book.

Ugh, celebrity ass-kissers. I hate you.

That Craig's List article kicked some serious ass.

Hey, Jane Pratt? SHUT UP.

When my latest issue arrived, in which Lindsay Lohan insists that she's not some teenage alcoholic (uh huh) and her boobs are real (UH HUH), I looked at the cover and saw these words…

The Sexy Feminists' Beauty Guide

I shook my head and sighed, and then looked for the article so I could make fun of it, only I couldn't actually find it in the issue. Jane Magazine, please quit it with the frontin'. Please.

UPDATE: Bitch Magazine's debut piece in my favorite column, The Jane Petty Criticism Corner.