A boardwalk psychic's predictions will have you reeling

That line is from a Cosmo horoscope I read after one of the Heathers and I went to Wildwood when we were both 15 and a boardwalk psychic's predictions really did have us reeling.

There are three very important pieces of information you'll need to have at hand to understand the following story. 1) Tall Guy is 25, and yes, I'm a cradle robber. 2) Sylvia is my mother's psychic, who she visits once every two years or so. 3) The ex and I broke up on Thanksgiving of last year. Now, let's make with the storytelling.

I was discussing with Mom my Tall Guy hesitation based on his age, when she said, "Well, Sylvia did say you were going to get involved with a younger guy."

"When did you see Sylvia?" I asked.

"Last summer." This puzzled me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Well," Mom began, "Sylvia told me you and [insert ex's name here] were going to break up around the holidays."

"Really?" I asked. "What else did she say?"

"She said you and [insert ex's name here] were going to break up around the holidays and you weren't going to get serious about anyone for about a year. And when you did, it would be someone younger. She also said you'd start writing a book around the same time, and actually finish it."

"Did she say if the book would be any good?"

"No."

"Damn. Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"Well," Mom said, "I didn't want to tell you that Sylvia told me you and [insert ex's name here] were going to break up in a few months.

"Fair enough."

Incidentally, I let Grandma read what I had so far of the novel. Mom stole it and read it first, and completely FREAKED OUT at the line, "You owe me 20 bucks, motherfucker." I told her if she couldn't handle that, she definitely couldn't handle the sex scenes and took it away. Grams read the whole thing without blinking an eye. Sorry Mom, Grams is cooler than you.