Misadventures

The bad news is I can't accompany the rape crisis girls to Boston this weekend because I can't find anyone to cover my Saturday shift at the hospital. The good news is I'm THIS close to a fab writing gig and I have a date with a cute doctor next week. Yee haw.

Hey Red Sox, who's your Daddy? Ha ha. That's never going to get old. Oh, and boys? A collective haircut, please.

This is a classic Jess-is-an-ass story. I ordered this screen so the cats could have a little privacy. We have no doorman in my building, but sometimes the UPS guy catches me in the morning or evening. After three tries, he didn't, so I had to trek over to the UPS on West Houston and pick it up.

The plan was this. I'd carry it a block over to Hudson and hop in a cab home. Only it weighed 44 pounds and was over 6 feet tall. I made it across the street with it, but cabs wouldn't pick me up. I called a car service to inquire about a van. I was told it would cost me 75 DOLLARS PLUS TIP TO TAKE ME ACROSS TOWN. It was then that I started to panic, so I called Curly for advice. She decided to come down and help me assess the situation.

When Curly arrived, we decided to carry the box over to 6th Avenue and hop on the cross-town bus with it. I was worried about actually getting it onto the bus, but figured it couldn't be that bad. We made it a couple of blocks and then couldn't go anymore. I called Carmel (Going to the airport? Just call Carmel at 666-6666.) and they gave me a still-ridiculous-but-slightly-more-reasonable price for a minivan. I hopped across the street to buy cigarettes (for me) and potato chips (for Curly). We waited for a long-ass time and finally, our minivan came.

When we got back to my place, a cute boy on a bike held my end of the box while I repeatedly tried and failed to open my building's front door. A few days prior, my ghetto elevator had decided to stop opening on my floor, so we were prepared to take the box up one floor and carry it down. Luckily, it opened and we didn't have to. Once we dropped off the screen, I bought her some Mama's and beer and we watched the Red Sox get spanked.

My new goal is to find a boyfriend with a car. Well, at least until my apartment is fully furnished.