A letter to Donald Trump

Dear Donald Trump,

I really think giving Pamela the boot was a bad idea.

Not that Pamela is someone I would want to hang out with. She isn't, she scares me. I do, however, think that as far as leadership goes, she was the only hope for APEX. I don't understand, Mr. Trump, how you could have gotten as far as you have in the business world without any apparent knowledge of female politics.

I'm going to betray my gender here, and I'm going to feel bad about it but you need some enlightenment. There are many nice, healthy ways girls bond -- watching Lifetime Original Movies, playing croquet, kickboxing. There are also some unhealthy ways girls bond, one of which (and this is the one you need to pay attention to) is shared hatred for another girl. It's ugly, it's awful, but we do it. Hell, we did it in rape crisis training. That's how we all became friends -- shared hatred for the girl who Would. Not. Shut. Up. I'm not proud, but I am happy to have those friends.

This, Mr. Trump, is what the women of APEX are doing. Every week, they gang up on one member of the team, exaggerate her inadequacies and get her fired. And you play into it every time. Stacey J? Maybe a little nutty, but certainly not a paranoid schizophrenic. Jennifer C? I'll give you that one. Pamela? Sorry, but she kicks ass and takes names.

Let's look at the remaining women of APEX and see if there's a leader in the bunch, shall we? Elizabeth, who cries and takes everything personally. Ivana, who thinks she knows everything yet every time she talks all I hear is blah, blah fishcakes. Maria is just a bitch, and not in a good take-charge way either. Jennifer M. and Sandy, the blonds -- no real opinion of them yet although I thought Jennifer did a nice job on-camera at QVC. Stacy R, in addition to being the most annoying girl to ever walk the Earth, is a huge instigator who does nothing but yap and stir up dissent.

Mr. Trump, I think you are either clueless as to the machinations of female competition, or you want the women to fail. I certainly hope it's the former. And please fire Stacy R. next time. I hate her.

Love,
Jess

P.S. Can I run one of your companies?