Jess gets an anal probe

Colonoscopies are a blast, y'all should go and get one.

So I've been having an ass problem that I won't go into because as you, my dear readers know, I'm a very private person. My regular doctor sent me to an ass doctor who sent me to an internal medicine doctor for a colonoscopy.

The disadvantages of this particular procedure were many. I couldn’t eat anything for a day and a half. I had to drink vile preparations that had vile repercussions. I couldn't drink anything for a really long time. The sole advantage was getting to stay home from work today and watch Dawson's Creek, 10 Things I Hate About You and Bring it On.

So I showed up, starving and weak and dehydrated and grumpy and terrified. They stuck an IV in my arm, and as I drifted out of consciousness, all I could think of was The Roomate's prediction for the procedure:

I bet the doctor will think you have a nice ass.

All in all, it wasn't that bad. I was completely out for the probing and my poor ass doesn't even hurt. And if the doctor did think I had a nice ass, he certainly hid it well. He told me he's done 12,000 colonoscopies, so I'm sure he's seen some real beauties.