How did people waste time at work before the Internet?

Dirty Holly just sent me a link to the Snark-O-Tron 8300. It is the funniest and sickest thing ever. We've been putting each other's names in and generating snarky comments about each other for quite some time now. Here's the best of the best:

I'd like Dirty Holly to spend less time throwing machetes at circus freaks and more time beating up Rue McLanahan.

If I were stuck on a desert island with Jessica, I would maim myself with a bottle of tequila, or, if available, some sort of uzi.

Imagine Dirty Holly. Now imagine Dirty Holly eating a pony.

The most fascinating thing about Jessica is that I think we'd all really like it if she died.

I would love to see an episode of some show where Dirty Holly discovers that her father is Clay Aiken.

Jessica is so annoying, I want to slap her crotch.

Imagine Dirty Holly. Now imagine Dirty Holly humping a platypus.

I think I'd be really pleased, nay, overjoyed if a couple of hobos made sweet love to Jessica.

UPDATE: More snarking going on over at Sheila's.