The girl without a face

It was raining at lunch time and I had no umbrella. Instead of venturing far and ruining my new suede skirt, I darted across the street to PAX. On my dart back across the street, a dude on a bicycle hit me.

He was going the wrong way down a one-way street, against a red light. And he was going very, very fast. After he sideswiped me, I wasn't sure if there was any remaining skin on the left side of my face. It all happened too fast for me to yell, pummel or kick, so I stood there dumbfounded for a moment and then headed back to the office in a daze.

I have a huge red welt on my left cheek. My face is swollen and numb. And I'm pissed. I can't smile, and dammit. I love to smile. How am I going to steal someone's date at tonight's CAKE party if I can't smile?

I should be thoroughly black and blue by tomorrow. I intend to tell everyone that I got into a bar fight and broke a girl's nose, because it's important that people fear me.