Other complaints lodged against me by former boyfriends

After writing about Texty McTextstein's hatred of my "writer talk," I started thinking about things other exes have hated about me. It's quite a list, and I couldn't resist sharing. It's important to note that most complaints came straight from the mouth of The Photographer, who spent the longest amount of time with me. For three and a half years, I ruined his life, or so he likes to tell me on the rare occasions we see each other accidentally or on purpose. Enjoy.

I snore.

I steal all the covers.

I smoke and drink too much.

I'm always late.

I act too friendly with your friends.

I swear like a truck driver, and really, why can't I act more like a lady?

I always make jokes when you're trying to be serious.

I'm too wild.

I'm completely insane.

I eat too much junk food.

I still hang out with too many guys I have slept with at one time or another.

I fall madly in love with every new friend I make.

I'm too impulsive.

My love of teen melodrama is troubling.

I'm the most stubborn girl on Earth.

I make giant, sweeping statements without backing them up.

I argue for the sake of arguing.

I'm shady.

I'm too sensitive.

I'm childish.

I'm a nympho.

My temper is too short.

I watch too much television, specifically too much bad television.

I air our dirty laundry all over the Internet.