If you needed money, all you had to do was ask

The cavefish is an identity theft victim.

I received a letter from my bank today that said, "We are pleased to inform you that we are ready to close on you Personal Installment Loan in the amount of $9,000." Except, you know, that I never applied for one. I immediately called the bank and was routed through a series of customer service representatives, the next slightly more panicked than the preceding. The last rep informed me that someone had gone into a bank in a shady part of Brooklyn armed with my social security number and account information. They took out a loan for $9,000. IN MY NAME.

I have to call the branch tomorrow and straighten it out with them. I am so freaked out about how someone could have gotten enough of my personal information to do that, and I wonder what they're planning next.