Identity theft update

The Other Jessica, as in, the one who is not me, has been on a wild, crazy and kinda huh? shopping spree. She got herself a Lowe's store credit card, which she rang up to the tune of $3,000 until I cancelled and disputed it. Lowe's? This is what you do with my stolen identity? You couldn't just buy some home furnishings with the $9,000 loan you took out and get store credit somewhere more fun? How about Ikea? Virgin Megastore? Circuit City? I am baffled by you, Other Jessica.

Last night I came home to a bill from Macy's, where the Other Jessica has been doing some damage as well. Seems she racked up over a grand buying Sean John and Rocawear clothing. I actually bellowed a death threat into the void of my apartment when I saw the Macy's bill. I used the C-word too, and I NEVER use that word. Can I have my own Citibank identity theft commercial, please?