A collection of quotes from the Daily News and the New York Post concerning the toddler who was attacked by a monkey Sunday

I don't care if this makes me a bad person. I am laughing so hard I am crying right now. Here's why:

"A monkey bites my grandson in Key Food. Who can think of such a thing happening?"

"I think the animal showed unbelievable self-control until the third rip, and then, in self-defense, the monkey gave it a bite."

"Monkeys are not shoppers. They don't have a role in a supermarket."

"I said, 'Sir, your dog is biting my grandson! Oh my God — what's that tail? It's a monkey! What's a monkey doing in a Key Food?'"

"The guy said, 'I'll open my hand and bitch-slap you and the monkey,'"

"He hates monkeys now."

"There should be no monkeys in the world."

"This man does not need a monkey."

"Yes, they can be trained to do certain tasks, but it is inappropriate to take a macaque into the cereal aisle."