Jess makes a completely arbitrary, executive decision

After some drinks last night, I made a Very Important Decision. If I am still dating in my 30s, which much to my mother's chagrin ("I just don't want you to end up alone!") I most likely will be, I will only date divorced men.

I've already missed the first marriage wave. Husbands and wives my age are, right now, fighting and throwing things and getting separated and deciding who gets what. Since I made it through the first wave unscathed, now I have to sit back and wait for the divorces to be final and custody to be decided.

Why not date bachelors, you ask? Because bachelors in their 30s have been bachelors for too long. They're too used to it. They have all these "space" issues. They're very particular about their "stuff." They're afraid that getting into a relationship means that they can't watch sports anymore or hang out in their underwear. Especially if they've lived alone for years on end. Then they just get weird.

Divorced men are a much better bet, once they get all the rebounding stuff out of the way. They've learned from their mistakes. They know how to make a commitment. And if they have a child or children over 4, yee haw! Then I don't have to deal with a baby, there's a possibility he won't want any more kids, and we'll only have them on weekends. If the ex-wife is a wretched shrew who ruined his life and is hated by the kids, so I can be the Awesome Stepmom, then even better!

Yesterday, Jake and I were discussing my need for a 5-year plan. I'm so happy I finally have one.