Curly's platonic girlfriend

COUNTDOWN: 6 DAYS TO SIX FEET UNDER

Being a lesbian on a hookup mission is exhausting. I know, because I was an accomplice in that mission Friday night.

Curly and I went to go see copyeditor extraordinaire's band Shark Hat at Hogs & Heifers uptown, which is NOT just like Hogs & Heifers downtown but they still rocked. Afterwards, Curly wanted to chase skirts so we headed downtown to Meow Mix, where there were exactly five people. So we took a hetero detour and checked out the new Mama's Bar on Avenue B, which is where my next date will be, assuming I will go on a date some time in the near or distant future. That may or may not be assuming a lot. Then we stopped by Starlight to see if it was a lady-friendly night, and it was not. Then we decided to cab it across town to Henrietta Hudson's. Curly ogled a little hottie in a pink tank top for a bit and then I left her at the bar while I went outside to smoke, hoping someone would chat her up (she's shy). I had this conversation with a woman outside:

Her: Have you been in there?
Me: Yup
Her: Is it happening?
Me: It's packed.
Her: But is it happening?

I was kind of at a loss at that point. It seemed happening, but I wasn't sure. I told her yes and hoped I wasn't wrong. We left Henrietta's and decided to stop by the Cubby Hole. We were drunk and could not find the Cubby Hole. Somehow we decided to call Jake in Ithaca and ask him, because he knows Things. He didn't answer. I left a drunken message. We found it. I love the Cubby Hole! It's so cute inside and the music was great. I got home at 4:40am and was positively destroyed for the entire rest of the weekend.

I was supposed to go to a gay mixer at Curly's work tonight, but she's sick. Is there a word for a straight girl who spends all of her time doing lesbian things?