More on gynecological humor

I shared gynecologist visit tales with Jake Saturday afternoon, over brunch at Cafe Orlin. Now I'm going to share them with you.

My regular gynecologist is The Bot. She is expressionless, emotionless, and runs on five AA batteries. She's also a great gynecologist, in that she is fast and efficient and always gives me a heads-up before she goes diving in anywhere.

Sometimes, she has to take some time off, either because she's having a wiring malfunction or the batteries need to be recharged. When this happens, I see the other gynecologist in the office. She is warm and friendly and makes me unbelievably uncomfortable because of it.

The first time I went to see The Shiny Happy Gynecologist, she made me dizzy with the questions and the talking and whatnot. I nearly lost it when, while she was basically fisting me, she said, "Oh my God! Your stomach muscles are so strong! Do you take Pilates?" I wanted to ask if we could maybe talk about that later, when her hand wasn't inside my vagina, poking on my stomach muscles, but instead I wearily told her I practiced yoga. Turns out the SHG does too! So then I had to give her an overview of which postures I actually did to strengthen and tone. With all the talking, I don't know how she actually got anything done down there.

Although Little Kim and I like to poke fun at The Bot, I'm always very happy when she comes back from recharging, er vacation.