Pretty face vs. Dutch Oven

I don't date hot guys.

I just don't. Several of my friends have remarked on this lately. I date cute guys, but never hot ones. I may sleep with a hot guy from time to time, but that's about it. I either don't take them seriously, or I know that the "real him" is going to be a disappointment.

Case in point - a conversation with my roommate.

Me: Did you know *Johnny Knoxville's real name is PJ Clapp? Ew.

The roommate: No way!

Me: OMG, and he has a daughter! Named Madison of all things.

The roommate: Well, there goes that - I can't date a single father.

Me: Yeah, never mind the fact that he lights his farts on fire.

The roommate: But he's soooooo hot.

Me: How hot will he be when you get a Dutch Oven every morning while he laughs like a 5 year old?

The roommate: Okay, good point.

Johnny, Bam -- you're very pretty. Very pretty indeed. Sometimes, you're even funny. But how someone could date you, ever, is beyond me.

*All Johnny Knoxville information was obtained at Fametracker.