No dessert for me, thanks -- I'm morbidly obese

They finally got accurate scales at my ghetto gym. Turns out I've been living under the delusion that I'm 10 pounds lighter than my actual weight. It also turns out I'm horribly overweight.

I spent the morning checking out those insidious height-weight calculators, which are mostly sponsored by diet companies, just so you know. Turns out I'm nearly 5 pounds heavier than the MAXIMUM weight someone with my height should be. When you factor in my small frame, I'm apparently a big fatty.

Now, this is not a "my butt is huge" rant. I'm not fat. I'm a size 8, for God's sake. In what universe is that fat?

Hey diet industry! Stop making us feel horrible about our bodies!

Bastards.