His name is so not Bond

Rumor has it, Pierce Brosnan is passing the Bond torch, and the following lads are being considered to fill his shoes:

Hugh Jackman

Colin Farrell

Orlando Bloom

Jude Law

Ewan McGregor

I don't know about you, but I think all of these choices are very, very bad. I'm not sure why I don't like Hugh Jackman for this, but I don't. Colin Farrell is a midget -- Bond can't be a midget. Orlando Bloom is like 12, and he's making a career out of The Importance of Being Earnest. Jude Law's receding hairline is putting a damper on the sexy. And Ewan McGregor, who I love to bits, just isn't conventionally good-looking enough.

My pick? James Van DerBeek.